Editors - the band

I know this is a little out of my zone - talking about bands and music, but I think I'd like to mention them simply because their music does something to me (in a good way!).

Would love to, in another life time, to be some cool music critic. But until then - I'd like to you to have a listen to their lyrics (And the lead vocalist's sound) and non't be fooled by their good looks *wink*

There's a link to the 'oficial' space on youtube http://www.youtube.com/user/editorsofficial

August's Two Eclipse

So Shelley Von Strunckel (The Sunday Times Style, Sunday 27th July 2008) has this to say about the Pisces star:

"By the time August's two eclipses - on Friday and August 16 - have taken place, many elements of your life you'd considered stable will have changed... Allow yourself time for reflection and your intuition will tell you that these changes are freeing you to explore feelings and activities that you've long dreamt about..."

Not sure if I can get sued for trying to be funny about what Shelley has to say - but as I read it for the 4th time and maybe compare it to other star signs... I wonder if there's a pattern:

i. State change that will affect reader (inflict possible fear?)

ii. Give a teaser (as in a possible light at the end of the tunnel scenario)

iii.Followed by words of wisdom (i.e. dark cloud has been lifted)

iv.Shine a light - a possitive ending statement to ensure the reader under that star sign doesn't go bonkers with fear of the potential loom drawing near

Ah ha! But most importantly - there's always a phone and fax number at the end of each star reading... tah dah!

Ok - so I'll stop the mockery. In fact, the truth is that I believe in these things and should know better by now than to read it - simply because I end up loosing sleep and hanging on to every word these wise ones have to say.

Try googling your zodiac sign - there's even a Wikipedia and more 'tell-me -what-happens-next' astrology sites. I'm too afraid (yes I am chicken shit about receiving bad news) to even explore the Wikipedia site...have a go - read yours and see if age has made you more cynical or just plain paranoid.

In the meantime - let's see what happens later today and this Friday when the 1st eclipse comes around. Keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed... for what you say?

That no 'disruptive nuisance' will befall me or my fellow Pisces.

Image taken from http://horoscopes.astrology.com/dailypisces.html

Make believes and the boogie man

The physical pain is over now.

It seems like a dream not so long ago.... lying on the bed after they wheel you out, having taken a piece of you.

Then there was all that drama of going back to the hospital in fear of an infection- man! What a bonkers week that was!

But here's also my thank you to the National Health Service (NHS) Scotland - regardless of the occasional bad publicity and long waiting times to get treated - I was to a certain extent, taken care of, regardless of colour, age or sex. But let us not forget that in return, I still gap every month over the size of deductions that come off my tiny pay for health insurance.

It's a little over 3 weeks since the biopsy.

They mark you and you're another stat

There's a tiny little bump from where the 'entry'wound is - and that upsets me simply because 'they' (and I mean the wonderful world of modern medicine as a whole) had taken a part of me. And now I'm another statistic.

I thought I'd write a little about the biopsy - but it wasn't pretty, so maybe another day.

The prognosis is yet to be delivered. In other words, I'm still in my make believe world that nothing is wrong - that everything is going to go back to normal. 'Make believe'... is that another word for denial with a capital 'D'???
hmmmm.....

Any who - tomorrow's another trip to the consultants. Hopefully they can now deliver the truth to me.

As for whether I am ready to deal with it... ready to make sense of it...ready to take on this truth, I'm not sure. Might just never be able to come to terms with it, not to mention the fear.

Fear is a funny thing - there was the fear of the pain from the biopsy. Now it's the fear of the words that will be said tomorrow...

Was much simpler when I was fearful of that illusive boogie man under the bed who was going to come out and catch me if I didn't shut my eyes and go off to sleep. Those were the days.

Those were the days.

It's Been a While

It's been a REALLY long time since my first post.

As I've had to think about the past 10 months...and everything that's happened, I wonder where to start and what I'd like to do next.

I finished with my Masters degree, graduated, got a job...my dream job (if I may add) and have been in denial about my kidney condition.

So as I battle the fear and the depression of why this has happened to me... I figured it's time to get out of this 'state of mind' and start assessing what to do next.

Do I concentrate on what my priorities are?

Do I start volunteering and lend a hand?

Do I pack up and go home... to my comfort zone and forget all of this?

Do I make a commitment about my lifestyle and stick to it?

So many questions - as usual! And too few answers.

As I battle with the truth of what's happened... I hope that blogging about what happens next and the journey of trying to save my kidneys might (hopefully) help others in a similar situation.

I think I'll start with my kidney biopsy - been there, done that!

In the meantime - here's a not a so funny joke about the truth of black market kidney trade.

(Image taken from blogger donorcycle bp0.blogger.com/.../s320/kidney+payment.jpg)