Kidney and Beans

I have been considering the options of a regular post specific to new learnings and insights about kidney failure.

So the first step is to think about an apporpriate and not too depressing title to represent this dedicated and delicate condition. Not sure why - but Kidney and Beans feel like the righ title - hey I'm incharge, so who's gonna say otherwise?

The next question is where do I start? What's focus or direction should I take? Do I do the depression-monologue rant about the downs of kidney failure? Do I talk about the stages and symptoms as I progress (degression is a more accurate term but we'll try to stay positive)? What do I do?

I guess if I am thinking about 'helping' others in a similar condition by being open and sharing the pain about kidney failure, perhaps everything and anything on this journey should be appropriate...

We've established my 'condition'. We've also established that there will be no treatment and that the damage is irreversible - so what next? What's in store for me?

This got me thinking about the other 20-somethings in a similar state, what are their thoughts? This is supposed to be our prime - time for dreams before settling into commitments and children and husband(s). Not a failed kidney for god's sake!
(hmmm...I think it's best to keep god out of the picture for now!)

In my case, my journey started almost a year ago. And if I can sum that year up - it would be that I've been in denial all that time. I didn't understand or fully take on board the severity of the issue and now I am starting to go through the motions.

Today I received a booklet in the post about coping with kidney failure. Most of the information in it is not new - I've already read about it someway or another. The only section I have been avoiding is on 'treatment' - dialysis and transplant. Did you know, that you also have a choice of refusing dialysis and that it does not amount to suicide? The light at the end of the tunnel in this treatment choice is a calculated death, although I'm not sure if it's a painless one.

Anyway, going back to this booklet (published by Roche), an interesting aspect was about stories of people with kidney failure - of all age and colour. And what's interesting about that? Just one - as I look at their faces and compare them to me and to all the other people I know, I can't find anything to tell us apart. No sign on our foreheads declaring the silent pain that our little kidneys are going through, no tears and no sadness. Just regular looking people!

I think it'd be a good idea to try to look for stories - stories of kidney failures, the good and the bad, and to share them here, on this site.

So bring it on I say!